


The Talk

by FridaysChild



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-29
Updated: 2011-08-29
Packaged: 2017-10-23 05:08:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/246588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FridaysChild/pseuds/FridaysChild
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John, his sons, and the birds and the bees.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Talk

John knew his boys had distinct personalities, despite what the two of them may have believed. This fact was especially at the forefront of his mind when it was time to have certain...conversations.

“Dean, I need to talk to you, son.”

“Yeah? What ‘bout?”

“Well, it’s about...”

“Sex? C’mon, Dad, they already gave us that talk at school.”

“I know, I know...but they’re not always the best source of information.”

“....”

“Don’t look at me like that. There’s a political- you know what, never mind. All I’m saying is it’s healthy to have sex, and I know you’re probably going to, just make sure you use a condom.”

“Daaaad-“

“Dean, I’m serious. You don’t want to catch anything, and you don’t want to end up with little Deans running around. It’s like... it’s like... you don’t want your life to end up like Paradise by the Dashboard Lights.”

“Dad, next time you pick a song to demonstrate your point, can you make sure it’s a good one?”

“Do your homework or you’ll start thinking Suzie Q is a brilliant lyrical masterpiece.”

“Well, at least I understand it. Unlike Hamlet.”

“Sorry, can’t help you there. But if you have any questions, come and ask.”

 

Sam was a little different. Sam had common sense when it came to girls. He wasn’t eyeing up anything with two legs, and John was pretty sure if he did have sex, he’d take precautions and it’d be wonderful for the girl and everything would be hunky dory. He was, however, not as good about other things...

“Dad! C’mon.”

“Sammy, I want you to listen-“

“Dad! I’m not going to- you know! And I don’t want to talk about it with you! Dean already told me everything I needed to know!”

“Okay, Sammy, don’t have a heart attack. All I was going to say was- Sammy, listen to me right now. That is an order. And don’t glare at me like that.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I don’t care and stop acting like your brother.”

“...”

“Thank you. I just wanted to make sure you’ll be careful.”

“Of course I’ll be careful. I’m not Dean. And if I need to I can steal his...you know.”

“Condoms? Good, but that’s not what I meant. I mean before you have sex with a woman - or a man, whatever, I don’t care-“

“Ewwww, Dad...”

“Okay, just checking. Before you have sex with a woman, just make sure you make sure she’s not a vampire, a succubus, or anything else dangerous, okay?”

“Oh my God, Dad, I’m not going to like...check for fangs!”

“I’m not saying you have to. Just be careful and use common sense.”

“Fine, fine! Can we please stop having this conversation now?”

“Okay. Be careful.”

“Daaaaaad!”

See? John definitely knew his sons were different people. And sometimes they were frustrating in entirely different and new ways.

Of course he loved them anyway. He just hoped there wouldn’t be any grandkids anytime soon.


End file.
